I just started reading The Odd and Wondrous Calling. This morning, before I prayed, I read Martin Copenhaver’s insights on his seminary prayer group — and I admit I got a little teary and a little jealous. I couldn’t quite put the book down so I read into the next chapter where Lillian Daniel talked about the colleagues and church members that have become friends. I can relate.
Then, I prayed with the words of Matthew 11:16-24. I’ve been asked to share this prayer practice of mine at The Young Clergy Women Project Conference 2011 so I’m now nervous about it. It’s a practice that hasn’t been working for me. It feels stale. It feels awkward. I’m not sure that I can share something that is so uncomfortable with a group of women I respect and cherish — but I’ll give it a shot. This morning, I was trying to push away that worry. I was trying to ignore my jealousy of Copenhaver’s prayer circle. I tried to just listen to the words, but have you read these words? Eek.
Still, hours later, I’m thinking about the power suggested in these words. I’m thinking about my own arrogance to assume that I know best. Isn’t that an abuse of power? I think that Jesus calls us to a humble witness. We’re supposed to notice the wails and lamentations around us. We’re not always supposed to provide answers. Sometimes we’re just supposed to listen. Sometimes we’re just supposed to rely on the power of God who knows more than we know, who hears more than we hear and who can lead us where we can’t imagine. I’m trying to hold onto that thought today. I’m trying to actually pray it.